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Post by poppy on Dec 29, 2011 22:47:41 GMT
Tobias wasn’t too sure what Lexi was referring to, but whatever it was, he wanted to know what was bothering her. ”Seriously, it will make a difference. Just tell me.” He stated, smiling a little at his ex. Tobias wondered if she was going to admit that she still cared for him, or that she’d also cheated on him… it would make things better between them but when she tried to elaborate he raised his eyebrows curiously. ”Lex, you can’t just say that and just leave it. What happened? “ Toby asked her again, his hand reaching for her shoulder. He could tell whatever it was she was talking about, was obviously affecting her and he shrugged his shoulders, ”Who knows what I would have done, since you won’t tell me… but if you tell me then I’ll tell you what I would have done… then you’ll be able to stop speculating.” Toby always had a bit of a hero complex when it came to Lexi; he always wanted to make things better for her.
He hadn’t expected her to have been sleeping with his friend for so long. He was sure he’d mentioned to the band that she was his ex when they’d first spotted her when they arrived on the tour. His face was blank as he allowed the information to sink in. He raised an eyebrow. ”I don’t want to know that you of all people are fucking my friend… “ He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair somewhat frustrated. He realised she’d heard his comment and he looked at her and smiled sarcastically. ”Course you are… “ He rolled his eyes because she wouldn’t understand unless he explained himself. He didn’t really want to go into detail, because it was obvious by his actions and his behaviour that he wasn’t completely over the brunette. If she didn’t figure that out then that was her problem.
Toby rolled his eyes and shook his head. ”Yeah that’s right… I don’t care at all; I’m just making it up.” His voice was thick with sarcasm and he looked at her. ”Lex, I’m not lying; I do care about you. Doesn’t matter what you do; I’ll always care for you.” He told her honestly. He knew things hadn’t gone down well last time they’d spoken; but he’d cheated on her, she’d finished with him, and he’d found out his father was going to die all in forty eight hours; it hadn’t exactly been a good time for him. Least now she knew a little bit about what drove him to do what he did… and how much he regretted it.
He watched her drink from the bottle as he walked along with her. ”I can do what I like Lexi. He has no right screwing you. And I swear to God if he hurts you; I’ll kill him.” He was undeniably angry, and he needed to cool down. Will was one of his friends and he really couldn’t drive a wedge in the band, when they’d all worked so hard to get where they were. ”I’m sorry, but it’s just hard… you know we’d still be together if I hadn’t screwed up.” He told his ex confidently, because he had really believed she was the girl for him.
They tried the small talk and it was odd. He’d once been so close to her and even though they were standing next to each other; he felt a million miles away from her. She asked him his question and he shrugged his shoulders. Did she really want to know what was new with him? He doubted it, but he had always felt compelled to tell her the truth. ”I’m trying to give up smoking, the band… trying to keep busy and out of trouble…” He sighed, not really wanting to go into too much detail. He knew there had been some bad publicity about him and he was trying to keep his life on the down low.
She complimented him and he smiled, although he wasn’t sure now whether she liked his band or she liked his bands drummer. ”Thanks.” He muttered, before he took the bottle from her and took a large swig. His mind was spinning, he didn’t know what to do or say, but he needed to get things better with Lexi. He needed to let her see she could trust him again. Then she told him she should go. He turned to face her and shook his head. ”Lexi, don’t go… just stay… hang out with me.” He frowned, looking disappointed.
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Post by april on Dec 31, 2011 6:13:02 GMT
 lexi had to admit, she didn’t understand why he still even cared. It had been years since the two parted and he was still holding onto all the guilt? She wasn’t sure if she felt good about it or the opposite. She knew she shouldn’t even give two shits about the asshole, but she couldn’t help It, he was her first love. He was the one guy that tied her down and got her to commit, but he had ruined that. he had ruined every piece of her, he had broken her as far as she knew. And here he was, begging for her forgiveness. Did her forgiveness really matter that much to him? as much as she was glad it did, she couldn’t help but worry about their future. Even if it was just a friendship, could she ever go back to a casual relationship with him? she wasn’t sure. Even just looking at him, ached her heart, though she believed that she was over it all.
It was weird though, the girl had grown to be such an independent and strong individual, but here she was, feeling super vulnerable and out of place. She wasn’t confident at all and it was bugging her. This wasn’t her, she was different now and she hated feeling so out of place and out of control. She had to get away from this boy. He had too much of an effect on her. Lexi looked down at her hands as he insisted on her informing him on what she was hiding, she breathed, scared to tell him. She knew he’d have to find out eventually, but was this the time? She closed her eyes, holding back tears, still being unable to talk about it. She shook her head, still not saying anything about the subject.
She looked up, watching his expression as she confirmed that Will, was in fact the band member she had been sleeping with the past few weeks. She could tell it bugged him, but did Tobias have the right to have any say in who she had sex with? ”well, shit happens”, she shrugged, basically telling him to get over it. She watched him again as he continued to tell her how much he cared for her, ’I believe you, but that doesn’t entirely fix things”, she said honestly and looked away. She knew she couldn’t look at him for too long, if she did, she’d grow weak in the knees and be cuddling with him in minutes. ”he won’t. Believe me. We have an agreement”, she said simply, crossing her arms across her chest.
”and for your information, I don’t like him … that way.. we’re just fucking”, she shrugged simply, even though those last words would probably hurt Toby the most, but she couldn’t help but say them. She could tell Toby was angry, but she didn’t want to make him feel better, he deserved to feel this hatred and betrayal. ”yeah, maybe… “, she shrugged unconvincingly, ”who knows what’d you’d do whenever you’re wasted again despite the reason”. She didn’t trust him at all, especially when under the influence. ”you’d think… people would keep the one they love in mind… even when they were about to do something stupid.. bus obviously… it wasn’t the case here…”, she shrugged, ”but maybe I’m not the one for you, its fine”.
She nodded at his reply to her questions, but didn’t comment much. She didn’t take the bottle back again, just kept her eyes on the green grass before her. ”I can’t… this is too hard.. and… what I wanted to tell you earlier… what you probably should know.. I’d rather tell you… and run off…just so you can process it… “ she sighed and looked over at him. She reached over and touched his hands, hesitating a bit, but grasping them firmly, her eyes meeting his. ”i…. “, she looked away but managed to look up again, ”that night.. when you called….. I had just… found out I was pregnant”, she said finally, a whimper leaving her lips. ”I have to go”, she quickly added and ran off back to the buses.
W O R D S --* 696
T A G G E D --* tobias
N O T E S --* (: |
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Post by poppy on Dec 31, 2011 14:06:31 GMT
Tobias sighed, not really knowing how to process this information. They hadnt spoken in three years, and then first time they did was when she was leaving his tour bus after hooking up with one of his friends. He knew in reality, Lexi could hook up with who she wanted. He'd lost the right to have an opinion when he slept with the red head slut he'd hooked up with on that fateful night. He had retraced the steps over and over in his head, and he hadn't been able to recall exactly what had happened. Not that that had mattered, since his arch enemy had been there to inform her, and ruin every chance he had at winning her back. Thinking about it, only made Toby hate Eli. But he knew it would do no good. Eli was her friend, and band mate, and apparently in some bands That actually meant something... Not that it was actually Will's fault he'd slept with her. After all she was stunning, and funny.... But seriously, it did suck.
He couldn't really explain why it was so important for Toby to be friends with her again. Or why he wanted her forgiveness, but he supposed that a part of him never got over her. He'd been mostly single since Lexi, enjoying meaningless sex, and avoiding any emotional attachments. It had taken him a long time to put himself back out there, and a long time to forgive himself for doing what he had done. It was around the same time, he made an agreement with himself not to let himself get close to anyone. As a result he'd become a bit of a jerk, and had developed a reputation to hump and dump. He'd had some bad publicity but either way it had stopped him from hurting if only for a little bit.
He rolled his eyes and laughed a little. "You have an agreement? Yeah right. He screws everyone, your bound to either get hurt or catch a disease." He shrugged his shoulder knowing it was harsh but that was how he felt at the moment. He knew that she either hated him or still had some feelings for him given she wouldn't even look at him. Their eye contact had always been somewhat intense. Their relationship had been. Her words stung him and he closed his eyes for a moment trying to erase the image she'd created in his mind.
He didn't like the fact that she sounded skeptical about the fact they could have been together had he not screwed up. "Low blow Lexi. I get that you don't trust me. You have one reason not to, and one hundred others of why you should trust me." Her words frustrated him because he had nothing to stop her from doubting him. "Lex... Don't say that." He trailed off because it hurt too much to hear and accept it. But maybe she'd completely moved on, and maybe it was time he should.
He didn't understand what she was talking about, of course he didn't. He'd been clueless to what else had been going on at the time of their break up and so he frowned a little. She wasn't making sense, she took his hands and he held hers, and he held her eye contact. He wasn't sure what to expect but he waited somewhat scared, but as the words left her lips nothing could prepare him for what she said. He opened his mouth to speak but it just fell open. For once he was speechless and very confused. He didn't have time to process things before she told him she was leaving and then ran off. "Lex..." he managed to mutter, before she disappeared.
Toby stood there in shock, the bottle slipped from his hands and he felt his legs buckle underneath himself. He fell to the ground and knelt there for ages, in silence, wondering if he had a kid somewhere, if he was a father and if he wasn't, then what had happened. He felt hurt and angry, that she'd not told him. Angry at himself that he hadn't known, that he hadn't been there for her. Tears formed in his eyes and he allowed them to fall from his face. He wasn't sure why he was crying, only that he knew he'd destroyed Lexi and either hadn't been a good dad or had destroyed his own child by being so selfish. He hadn't meant to let her down.
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