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Post by poppy on Dec 26, 2011 19:48:35 GMT
Tobias was hungover, it was just his usual behavior to return home a bit worse for wear. He'd had a shower and woken up a bit, but his hair was still damp and the edges were beginning to curl up. He carried in his hand a carton of orange juice- something which would hopefully make him feel a little bit better. Tobias took a swig from his carton and shuddered as the bitter liquid cruised down his throat. His feet scuffed the ground, his jeans trailing in the dirt track which led to his bands tour bus.
Once again Tobias has slept with some fan girl, who's name he couldn't remember. It was rare for him to spend the night but when he'd tried to leave during the night he'd found the front door locked and the keys were nowhere to be seen, and to top it off the girl in question lived with her parents, so he had to wait for them to go to work before he had a shower and left. Needless to say, the guitarist made full use of her facilities; and had even helped himself to a second helping of his one night stand.
But right now all he needed was some sleep. He spotted his bus up ahead and smiled somewhat contently, he knew he'd get some grief of some of the band, but all he needed right now was to crawl into his bed and sleep before he was needed for practice. Practice was always a good laugh but he needed energy to perform the way in which he wanted.
With that in mind he swigged the last of the orange juice and flung the carton into a nearby trash can. He began down the path towards his bus and was greeted by the door opening. He half expected it to be one of his friends but instead was greeted by someone who made his heart stop. Tobias stared blankly at the brunette, and raised his eyebrows expectedly. He'd heard a rumour that she'd been on tour but he'd not seen her.
Tobias stopped in his tracks for a moment and processed her leaving his bus. Maybe she was there to see him? Before he even had a chance to think about any other reason she might be there, he began to speak and continued to walk towards her. "Lexi? Hey... How the hell are you?" Maybe she'd forgiven him for cheating on her, maybe she wanted him back... He could only hope.
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Post by april on Dec 26, 2011 22:03:19 GMT
”ouch!” lexi whispered loudly as she accidently stepped on someone’s shoe. She kicked it to the side and looked around, trying to gather all of her belongings. her clothes were back on, her cell and keys in her pockets, now all she needed were her shoes. She had just woken up in the Live Tonight bus, a bus she had tried not to find herself on too much, due to the fact that her ex-boyfriend was in the band and she was not quite ready for that reunion. Who knew if she ever would be. But no, lexi had to have a few too many drinks last night with tyler, and her drunken careless self-made her way to this bus to see Will, a current friends with benefits recruit she had been spending a lot of time with. They mostly hooked up on her bus or random public places, but the previous night she wasn’t necessarily thinking obviously.
”shoes…shoes…”, she said to herself, quiet not to wake will up as she tip-toed through the bus in search for her shoes. She couldn’t remember where she had put them or knowing her, threw them when she hopped aboard will as soon as he opened the door for her. It took her a few more minutes to actually spot them, the pair being on two opposite sides of the bus. She quickly made her way to the exit, all the while putting on her slip on shoes. She placed her hand on the door handle and opened it in one swift movement, as soon as she was about to make her complete exit, hopping down her eyes met someone else’s. her hand still on the handle, it slid down slowly as she almost tripped over her own feet as she realized who the other person was.
This was exactly what she was dreading on this tour, this run in right here. She was looking directly at her ex-boyfriend, tobias. Suddenly all of the confidence and spunk she had grown to develop over the last few years disappeared from her persona. Her old self was starting to make its way back to her, only because the last person that saw her this way was him. He was actually the reason why she changed certain things about her life. She closed his bus door and blinked at him, unsure of how she felt right now. she hadn’t seen him since they broke up, unless you counted seeing pictures of him online with his band mates. ”Uh, hey…”, she finally uttered, a little confused at his tone of voice. When did they become cordial with one another?
”I’m…” she looked to the bus then back at him, unsure what he would assume she was doing there. ”good, you?”, she asked, ”heard you were on this tour”, she added. She fixed her shirt a bit, knowing it was probably still a little out of place, the girl practically threw it over her head when she got dressed in such a hurry. She didn’t go near him though, she still wanted nothing to do with him, nor would she ever. Or so she thought. He walked towards her and she hesitated a little, not wanting him to touch her or anything. ”I knew it was a matter of time until I ran into you,” she said a little bitterly, it was probably quite obvious now that she hadn’t been leaving his bus in search for him.
W O R D S --* 578 T A G G E D --* tobias N O T E S --* (:
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Post by poppy on Dec 26, 2011 23:56:06 GMT
Tobias ran a hand through his hair awkwardly. This girl had stolen his heart and he’d broken hers. She’d been everything that he’d ever wanted, and he’d gone and ruined it all when he found out his father had cancer and was going to die. Of course he’d never actually gotten round to explaining that part of it all, given he’d gone to tell her what had happened and to beg for her forgiveness but Eli had beaten him to it and she’d not trusted a word he’d said since. It was sort of pointless even trying to make things up to her after that, but now that she was stood in front of him he wanted nothing more than to hold her and kiss her. He had loved her unconditionally and that hadn’t stopped when she’d taken herself out of his arms and into many other peoples.
He could tell she felt awkward, of course their first meeting was bound to be awkward, and he’d been dreading it for those exact reasons. He smiled weakly at her and shrugged his shoulders as she told him she was good, and added she knew that he was on the tour. ”I’m… okay. My dad died, but I’m getting over it.” He blurted out, because he wanted to share everything with her, and she hadn’t even known his dad was ill so he suspected she’d be a little surprised. He had shared everything with her, she’d been one of his best friends as well as his girlfriend and it had sort of made his losing his best friend Sam, that whole lot easier when Lexi had made that commitment to him. He frowned a little as she fixed her shirt, and it suddenly dawned on him that perhaps she wasn’t there to see him… but, she couldn’t have… no, surely none of his band would do that to him? ”You… you weren’t here to see me were you?” He asked her curiously, his voice a little shallow and not filled with his usual confidence. He wasn’t really sure he wanted to hear her answer, but for his own good he needed to hear.
Her voice was a little bitter and he sighed shaking his head. ”Lex, I need to talk to you… I need to put things right.” He told her pointedly, his hangover soon taking the last place in his mind. ”I watched your set the other night… you were awesome. As usual, you’ve got a good sound. The band I mean, not just you.” He stumbled over his words and edged closer to her, observing her delicate features. He wanted to reach out and touch her hair, but instead he stopped in front of her; enough space between them so that it wasn’t uncomfortably close. ”You look good Lex… I’ve missed you.” He told her as he tried to hold eye contact with her. He had no idea what had happened when they’d split up because they didn’t speak, and then he moved towns so his father could get treatment. He was oblivious to the fact that she was sleeping with his band mate, and so the hurt that Tobias felt standing in front of her, not being able to touch her; was only about to get ten times worse.
It felt strange being near her. Actually talking to her, and Tobias couldn’t really figure out why. She was his ex, and they’d been apart years but he’d never really managed to get over her.
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Post by april on Dec 27, 2011 1:41:55 GMT
the tension between the two wasn’t safe, lexi hated the male highly, he had been the only boy to truly break her heart. The only boy she had let in and he had completely screwed up any sense of ever falling in love again. She already was aware of this reunion being awkward and intense, but she also knew that it had to occur. She had been hooking up with one of his band mates, which was obvious that she’d run into Tobias eventually. Was it intentionally? She wasn’t sure. But, it was still bound to happen, right? Sure, she liked spending sexual time with will, but was her subconscious mind on tobias the entire time? She wasn’t sure.
She was still fidgeting with her clothing, not really wanting him to realize that she had just gotten dressed. But then again, why did she even care what he thought? She frowned a bit at his announcement at his father’s death, ”really? … how?”, she asked concerned, knowing that he had gone through way to many losses before then. ”I’m sorry for your loss, toby” she added, in honesty. But still she knew she didn’t want to make skin contact with him. He had a hard life sure, but she wasn’t ready to be that comfort for him. He had hurt her way too much and she wasn’t ready to forgive him for that. ”I loved your dad”, she said softly, remembering the small conversations with the elder man.
His accusation definitely made her body tense up, she straightened up and looked at him, her hand on her hip now, ”and why on earth would I be here to see you?”, she rose a brow, not ready to reveal the true reason why she was there in the first place. She backed up a bit, ”don’t…”. she shook her head and held her hands up. ”well… thanks, I guess.. but … no, it doesn’t matter if you want to fix things or.. if you miss me… you …. Ruined that a long time ago”, she shrugged, trying to avoid eye contact, but his eyes always being magnetic o hers. ”i.. can’t”, she whispered looking down at her feet.
W O R D S --* 367 T A G G E D --* tobias N O T E S --* (:
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Post by poppy on Dec 27, 2011 11:12:47 GMT
Tobias didn't like how things were between him and Lexi. They were once so good together and now, well they could barely have a civilized conversation. Even years later; maybe that showed how much they'd both cared for one another, but he couldn't believe that he still felt something for the brunette. She'd obviously made her mark on him, and he couldn't really figure out how or why. He only hoped that her being on his bus, didn't mean that she was screwing with one of his friends, he could tolerate most things but he wasn't sure he could tolerate that.
She seemed to care a bit about his fathers death and he smiled weakly, I was evident by his face that it was all still hard. "Lung cancer... It spread to his liver, bones and his brain... I found out the day I... Ruined things with you. It's the reason I'd rang you, and when you didn't answer, I went out and got so drunk I couldn't even remember my name... So when I done what I done..." He paused and sighed, feeling completely shit; reliving his pain over and over. "I wasn't me... I was off my head." At least he'd been able to spill out what actually happened, not that he thought it would make much difference to how she felt about him. He knew she'd liked his dad and so he hoped that she'd maybe feel a bit bad for him and decide they could be friends.
Lexi tensed up and he could see that she wasn't here to see him, it made his heart beat a little faster, and his stomach spin with anxiety. "So why are you coming out of my tour bus? You're not... Don't tell me your screwing one of my friends?" He asked her, his voice thick with jealously and bitterness. But he wasn't sure he could stand by and watch it happen. Granted his band mates hadn't really known what had happened back then, and had just accepted him as a player, but he couldn't cope with it.
She backed away from him a little and held her hands up. He frowned and edged closer to her, figuring it might be worth trying to make things right with her. "Lex, it does matter. If were gonna be working together then we should just be friends... We were great friends before we got together. I regret what happened between us... I'm sorry for hurting you." Toby tried as he leant down to find her gaze.
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Post by april on Dec 27, 2011 18:18:34 GMT
she had to stop herself from wanting to fix her hair, knowing it was probably still a little out of place. But why try to fix herself up for him? He didn’t deserve it, really. But then again, she wanted him to see and know what he had been missing out on. But what was the point? She just wished that she could just run off to her bus, but that would be the coward thing to do, she knew this had to happen. It was sort of funny it happened, if you were an outsider to this. Her stumbling out of his bus, because she was sleeping with one of his band mates. Maybe he deserved to see this though, especially after everything he did to her, even if he wasn’t aware of the baby portion of the heartache he caused her.
She listened to him explain his father’s death, she never really got to hear what was going on with him that day so long ago, but here it was. She felt bad that she wasn’t there for him in his time of need, as she always was, but that didn’t excuse him for what he did. ”I’m really sorry I wasn’t there for you…but no matter how much you drank, it doesn’t excuse you for your actions…and if you knew…”, she stopped herself and shook her head, looking away. She almost said ‘if you knew what I was doing at that moment’, but she didn’t. She wasn’t ready to tell him about it, nor did she think she ever would be. At that moment, years ago, she was staring at a pregnancy test that had a blue positive sign on it, revealing to her that she was indeed pregnant. Her phone was in her room and even if she knew it was Toby calling her, she probably wouldn’t have answered, considering she was too scared to tell him. The two were in high school, how on earth were they ready for a baby? They weren’t. and the events of the following day paid proof to that, she had found out she was cheated on and ended things before toby could even give any excuse.
She had to stop herself from touching her stomach, she always did do that when she thought about the baby she got rid of. She looked back up at him. She could tell he was sorry and she could tell he was still carrying all that guilt, but as he could see, she was still carrying all those memories and pain. She still cared about him, and hearing about his dad made her want to hug him, but no, she couldn’t. She didn’t know why she still cared but she did, and she was suddenly starting to feel bad about why she had been on his bus in the first place, even though she shouldn’t really feel that way. But the look on his face when he connected the dots began to eat at her, why did he even care? She wasn’t his anymore. He lost her three years ago.
Lexi put both of her arms across her chest and looked away again; she didn’t want to answer him really. But maybe it would hurt him if he knew for sure? From the look on his face, confirmed that the information would definitely hit a nerve or two. ”So what If I am? That’s not any of your business, now is it?”, she tilted her head and rose a brow. ”I can screw whoever I want,” she gave a shrug, trying to keep a straight face. She was never good at hurting him, he had this odd effect on her, and she hated that it was still there, even after the time period spent apart.
She stared back into his eyes, unsure of what to say, she wasn’t sure if she could ever be friends with him again. But looking into his eyes, made her realize how much she had missed him, missed those eyes. She had to look away, she couldn’t get sucked back into this, not with him. ”I don’t know if I could do that, toby… “, it was true, she probably couldn’t. Seeing now, that he still had this pull on her, was hard enough. So the idea of becoming his friend seemed impossible, ”I’ll think about it… but… “ she shook her head, ”I just can’t see it… you have no idea how much you hurt me.. you… you broke me” her voice nearly cracked at the last three words as she finally managed to look back at him. She wasn’t going to cry. She couldn’t. At least not in front of him. If anything, she needed a drink. She felt so unlike herself right now and she hated every minute of it.
W O R D S --* 805 T A G G E D --* tobias N O T E S --* (:
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Post by poppy on Dec 27, 2011 19:24:24 GMT
Tobias didn't really know what to do or say to make things better with Lexi, even if she was just back in his life as a friend, it was better than nothing. He'd always expected to bump into her, but never this morning, when he was hungover and needed sleep. He was now becoming more focused on the fact that she had just come out of his bus. It was irritating him more than anything, and even though he couldn't say or do anything about it, it irked him and made him want to get drunk.
He felt that hole of emptiness widen just a little bit more inside of him, as he thought about his father. He didn't need her pitty, and he didn't want her to feel bad about something that she couldn't change. "Yeah it sucks... I know drinking isn't an excuse. But I just wanted you to know what frame of mind I was in. I'd have done anything to take it back... What do yo mean? If I knew what?" Tobias frowned curiously, wondering if Lexi was also hiding something from him. His father had only been dead six months, but the past three years were imprinted in his mind, watching him become more ill, watching him fade. Perhaps that was why he missed Lexi so much.
He could tell she was still in pain over what had happened, and he wondered if it would be better if they talked about things properly, although he wouldn't be able to offer her much more than an apology. He wanted go touch her, but he didn't dare. She crossed her arms over her chest and avoided his eye contact. His expression became lost and hopeless as she became defensive when he questioned her. "I know I hurt you, but... How could you do this to me?" He ran a hand through his hair and sighed before laughing a little. "Who is it?" He asked feeling his temper rise a little as he shook his head and aggressively ran his hands over his head in disbelief. "There's a rule Lexi! You don't screw your exes best friends!" He sighed before he glared up at the bus. He knew he wouldn't be able to go back there right now, since he was too angry.
Lexi had only become more attractive, and it only hurt him like being hit in the head by a ton of bricks. Way more than he'd ever expected. He nodded and looked away from her. He couldn't look at her when she denied him. She told him she'd consider their friendship but wasn't sure she could do it. It was worth a try, but he knew that things weren't ever going to be good between them again. "Lex, you have no idea how sorry I am... I didn't mean to hurt you. I loved you so much... I still care about you. I don't want you to hate me, but I get that I can't change that." He sighed and shook his head before turning away from her, "I need a drink, your welcome to join me." he told her, before disappearing into the tour bus for a moment, before returning drinking from bottle of whiskey.
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Post by april on Dec 27, 2011 20:43:39 GMT
to be honest, she thought he’d be different right now. she thought he’d have forgotten about her and had just been doing his own thing, but no, it was like they went back in time and were back to their high school selfs. She didn’t like this, not one bit, despite how much she realized she missed him. she didn’t really realize how much of her pain for so long ago, she still managed to hold on to. But how can someone come back from their first heartbreak entirely? he was her first love, her first boyfriend, someone she almost had a baby with, and there was no forgetting that. It was something that was a part of her now, something that made her who she was today. Damn, she was find before this moment right here, she had managed to forget about it all, well at least, push it far enough into the back of her mind as she could. Blind herself with countless sex partners, drugs, and alcohol. Sure, she was having fun, but still, it had its reasons to be so constant in her life, even if she didn’t want to admit it.
”well, what’s done is done” she shrugged, not wanting to even talk about it anymore, what was the point? She shot him a look when he asked if he knew what. How could she be so stupid to bring it up? It was hard though, keeping something like that silent. She had only told one person in the world about it and that was eli, who actually hated toby, and had been the person that got her through it all. he was like her rock, still is actually. ”nothing, forget it, it doesn’t even matter anymore,” she was obviously lying, but she avoided his eye contact so that he wouldn’t read her, he was always good at that when it came to her.
She winced a little as he went on about how there was a rule about not doing your exes best friends, ”don’t start with me… and for your information, I didn’t even know he was your best friend or band mate, whatever… until… many times after”, she said looking at him, ’whoops’, she thought, she had just pretty much told him that this wasn’t the first time the pair had slept together. ”do you really want to know?”, she tilted her head and bit her lip, she could have easily kept it a secret but what was the use? He’d find out anyways. She wasn’t even sure he’d want to know, the friendship would probably never be the same between the two, but why did she even care? ”I’ve stopped following the ‘rules’ a long time ago, toby! Following them, doesn’t get you anywhere” she said tightened her grip on her arms.
She looked at him, trying to read him, she knew he was telling the truth, but could she really forgive him completely? ”I’m just glad you’re not being a dick right now… so thanks for that” she said admitting and watching him run into the tour bus. She ran a hand through her hair and groaned to herself in his absence, she could have easily ran off, escaping any more of this drama. Before she could come to a decision on whether or not she should just go, he had returned, a ¾ filled bottle of whiskey in his hands. She turned to him and held her hand out, ”you’re lucky I could use a drink right now” she said wiggling her fingers at him in need for a swig of the alcoholic beverage.
W O R D S --* 605 T A G G E D --* tobias N O T E S --* (:
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Post by poppy on Dec 27, 2011 21:55:27 GMT
It was like being back a whole three years ago, only now he had no family, and spent most of his time screwing girls who’s names he couldn’t remember, and getting drunk to forget who he was on purpose. It wasn’t like Toby was a whole lot of happy, but he wasn’t exactly Mr Depressive either. Sure he had his issues, but he usually left them well alone. He usually forgot about them until he seen Eli, or heard Lexi’s bands music. She was in fact, someone he’d thought he’d be with forever. Yes, it was cliché but Lexi was his princess; the type of girl who could do no wrong, and he was determined to good by her; only he’d screwed up. Big style. Bigger than he knew. But no matter how many brunettes he slept with or no matter how many blondes blew him off; he couldn’t get her face out of his head. Tobias had known this deep down for a while, but right now it was more prominent than ever. Now she was stood in front of him, with her gorgeous eyes, and those lips… it was like he was drawn to her; like opposite magnets. Only he knew he couldn’t have her.
She shrugged it of as though it meant nothing. But it meant something to him and he was sure it meant something to her. He frowned as she told him to forget what she’d said. She avoided his eye contact and he knew she was avoiding the conversation. He stepped closer to her and tilted his head to the side. ”Lex… it does matter. Whatever it is, I want to know…” He told her warmly, hoping that she’d give him a clue or just tell him whatever it was.
Lexi tried to defend herself and only made the situation worse for Toby. ”How long have you?... you know what I don’t need to know.” He sighed, shaking his head. He bit his bottom lip because he really wanted to smash something right now. ”Yeah I do want to know. But I think I can guess. Never has his cock in his pants Will most likely. He fucks anything with a heartbeat.” Toby stated bitterly, struggling to hide his anger. He wasn’t sure if he wanted it confirmed because in reality he didn’t want to cause disruptions between the band members, and he didn’t want to hit his friend for something he knew nothing about. ”You told me that on purpose didn’t you? I feel sick.” Toby looked away from her, and leant against a small wall which lined the bus park. He folded his arms against his chest and looked to the floor before sighing deeply. ”I wish you’d get out of my fucking head.” He muttered, barely loudly enough for her to hear.
He set his hands down at either side of him, as she said thanks to him. He frowned, and shrugged his shoulders, ”Why would I be a dick to you? I’d have done anything for you.” He told her running his hands through his hair as he boarded the bus. He half expected her to have left, to have disappeared but when he emerged he smiled at her response as she held out her hand. ”Here… let’s get out of here. Before I do something with your… fuck buddy, that I regret.” He told her as he nodded his head towards the park, just off the tour site. ”You gotta keep me right Lexicle.” He stated, a nickname he gave her rolling off his tongue.
He took the bottle from her and had another drink from it, walking next to her; a casual gap between them. ”So, what’s new with you then?” Toby asked her, genuinely interested, sort of feeling that the further he got away from his tour bus, the further away their problems were… that they were maybe dismantling barriers from their past and could maybe move forward. He had to fight the urge to put his arm around her, but other than that, he felt fairly comfortable with her.
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Post by april on Dec 28, 2011 0:07:35 GMT
she felt his presence increase as he stepped closer to her, nervous that he’d actually get it out of her. ”it won’t make any difference… just… forget it… “, she muttered, still avoiding eye contact. She knew if she told him about their unborn child, It would make him feel worse, and it would make him have pity on her and she didn’t want either. But, she also knew that if he got more liquor in her, she’d probably blurt it out randomly. ”let’s just say, you wouldn’t have done what you did”, she said simply, trying to sugar coat as much as she could as she finally met his eyes. ”well, who knows? I don’t know what you would’ve done”, she whispered, but loud enough for him to hear every word
Lexi wasn’t sure if she pleased to learn that toby cared whether or not she was sleeping with someone he was close to or feeling a load of guilt for doing so. Her mixed feelings boggled her mind, but she knew she had to keep her cool. ”since the tour started”, she answered honestly, she saw the boy and boom, they locked eyes, and it went from there. All she wanted was sex and he gave that to her, no strings attached. Plus, she was a fan of the countless compliments the Casanova-like boy thrashed upon her. ”ding, ding, ding”, she sang looking over him, seeing that he was obviously hurt by the knowledge. She nodded lightly, confirming further that yes, will was indeed the culprit. ”so what if I did?” she shrugged, but then his next words got to her, ‘get out of his head’? on earth was she still in his head? ”I’m not doing anything, I’m just.. here…” she narrowed her eyes, the two hadn’t seen each other in years, how was she still in his head?
”plus, you’re probably just convincing yourself that you care because you feel guilty” she shrug, ”but you can let go of the guilt… it’s done and over with, okay?”, she said, unsure of her own words. She just didn’t want to be the victim in it all, not when it had to do with him. she scoffed a bit when he asked why he’d be a dick to her, ”well, the last time we spoke wasn’t exactly the best impression of you, I felt like I was talking to a different person” she explained honestly.
She took the bottle in his hands and took a long swig, she rolled her eyes at his words, ”please, you have no right to do anything to him.” She handed him the bottle back and followed shortly behind him, she tensed up at his nickname for her but didn’t show him how much she paid mind to it. She took the bottle from him again and took another long swig, the burning liquid flowing down her throat, ”just um… my band and…. I’m enjoying my life,” she shrugged simply, ”you?” she asked cautiously, feeling odd talking to him like this.
"your bands good, by the way," she commented with an attempt at a smile. it was weird trying to sound casual with him, she wasn't sure if she could do this for much longer. she handed him back the bottle, not wanting to drink anymore. she didn't want to get too buzzed and do something stupid. "you know what, i should go", she finally said, trying to do the smart thing right now.
W O R D S --* 537 T A G G E D --* tobias N O T E S --* (:
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